I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize