Plan B is the new Plan A
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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