so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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