dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
