That's when you crack a 10am beer
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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