alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
