well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
