I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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