Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
