I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
