Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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