i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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