like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize