oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
