In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
