I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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