shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
