I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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