You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
