as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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