omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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