Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
