i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
