oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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