Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
