If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I love you. Go after that dick
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
