So drunk, too bad you don't want this
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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