This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
