I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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