Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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