break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
...so i touched it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
