I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize