votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize