I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
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