A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
