dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
