White coat. Heels.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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