I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
