He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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