I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
