i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have demons in me.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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