he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
how drunk are you?
Several
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I think I just sharted jello shots
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
