...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
