My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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