My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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