i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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