u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
