She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
