so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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