I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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