I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize