Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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