My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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