I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
