The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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