That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
