we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's never too late to be topless.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
