she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
