last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's never too late to be topless.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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