Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
These tits shall not be calmed
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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