East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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